Not a ministry, not a professional writer, not a guy who’s got it all figured out. Definitely not a consultant overvaluing his own opinion. This is a side project in self exploration and improvement. My mantra is one I learned from my favorite blogger Brett McKay – Art of Manliness, Semper Virilis. – Always Virile. If a man as virile, he has the qualities that a man is traditionally expected to have.
The Bears Voice
One of my all time favorite movies is Legends of the Fall. It’s an epic tale of boys coming of age, initiation, internal battles, and validation. The old sage One Stab explains the voice of the bear Tristan hears deep inside. “Some people hear their own inner voices with great clearness. And they live by what they hear. Such people become crazy… or they become legends.” – One Stab: Legends of the Fall. When the bears voice falls silent, hibernates, we lose our drive, our edge. If the bear did not prepare for the hard winter, he will die. Such is mans soul. When the bear inside hibernates, a man can become soft, stuck in a rut, lose his edge. There are many ways to describe it.
This is where I found myself the beginning of 2017. A young entrepreneur, learning everything the hard way, doing my damnedest to keep it all together, trying to balance work and home and not getting anything right. In my youth I was an athlete, worked summers on my uncle’s ranch, I’ve worked as a horse farrier, rode pen back in a stock yard, guided hunting and fishing in the mountains of western Colorado, and then mined coal underneath those same mountains for almost twelve years. First I worked as an operator, and then a foreman, leading men 1,600 ft underground. It was satisfying work, running big equipment, blasting, working side by side with other men. Then I went out on my own as an entrepreneur, working behind a computer, and two years later stuck in a rut. The bear inside of me fat and sedated. I was turning into an armchair adventurist, living it up through movies and outdoor adventure and hunting shows. Working late, using a drink or two calm the stress at night. I started sleeping in later, missing my morning workouts and put on over 50 lbs. I did this all while telling myself it was sacrificial leadership for my family.
Thanks to an old sage that took an interest in me and my success, I was given a few books and resources that helped me put on the brakes, back up, find a spot to get out of the ruts. Now I’m trying to follow the marked trail left behind by the guy that negotiated the hill before me. I can hear the bears voice stirring inside, raising from his slumber.
He is restless, pawing, growling, ready to roar. So I dove into an old favorite, Wild at Heart by John Eldredge , and many new resources trying to find something to light that fire again. I’m just getting started, and I’m going to share my adventure with the hope of inspiring at least one other man, and helping someone else out of the rut.
My goal is to be Spiritually Fit, Physically Fit, and Financially Fit.